Modern parents often feel like they can’t put a foot right. There’s always someone telling you that you’re getting things wrong, especially when it comes to screen time. Everyone’s got an opinion on this hot, and contested, topic, and it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by all of the noise.
Unfortunately, there is a good reason for such strong opinions as studies reveal that children aged 5-16 now spend an average of 6+ hours a day looking at screens, and 45% of those aged 8-17 have seen inappropriate content in that time. As parents, we have a responsibility to protect our kids from exactly this kind of exposure. The debate lies in how we choose to do that.
Every household has different screen time rules, and there is no ‘right’ way of approaching things. There are, however, key mistakes that any parent will want to avoid when approaching the screen time struggle, and we’re going to consider the most common ones here.
# 1 – Enforcing Complete Screen Time Bans
There’s so much discussion around screen time and its potential harm that many parents may be tempted to enforce complete bans on this kind of activity. Removing screens means removing the problem, right? Or perhaps not.
Teens, in particular, are unlikely to stop a behaviour simply because their parents want them to. In this instance, screen time bans can prove more harmful as they result in secretive screen activity that’s entirely out of your knowledge or control.
Equally, complete screen time bans from a young age can result in the glamorization, or overuse, of screens as those children get older. Banning screens altogether also prevents children from understanding essentials to modern living, such as healthy, screen smart behaviours, and even the ability to access online benefits like personalized learning.
Nowadays, it’s also true that entirely banning your child from screens can leave them isolated from classmates or friendship groups, resulting in inevitable resentments and potential social difficulties both in and outside of school. For all of these reasons and more, management is always better than complete restriction, as it allows children to benefit from screens in an open, overseen way that keeps parents in control at all times.
# 2 – A Lack of Age-Appropriate Parental Controls
Parental controls on each of your child’s devices are by far the best ways to ensure they don’t encounter inappropriate content online. These controls can manage everything from how long and when your child can access the internet, to which sites they’re able to access during that time. Most parents understand the importance of putting these controls in place before handing a device to their child, but many don’t take enough precautions to make sure that these controls are effective or age-appropriate.
Even basic parental controls will be sufficient for younger children who, up until the age of at least five, should also be supervised while using screens. However, ill-thought or poorly managed parental controls can quickly come under fire as tech-savvy children reach their pre-teen and teen years. Not to mention that, at this age, strict restrictions could be as bad as complete bans for encouraging secretive use, or even hidden devices that you don’t know about.
The best way to overcome this is to continually review parental controls, ensuring that they provide age-appropriate restrictions and a strong enough defence to resist wise teenagers. As your children get older, it’s also worth speaking with them about restrictions that they may find problematic, and adjusting your approach to give them more overall control of their online activities, without entirely removing your much-needed oversight.
# 3 – Failing to Guide Usage
If you don’t know what your child is up to online, then there’s no way you can ensure healthy habits. Leaving them to get on with things without attempting to guide their usage can especially lead to unhealthy online habits and the usage of websites that simply don’t benefit your child in any way. Guided usage is a far preferable option.
Of course, telling your teenager which sites to visit is unlikely to end well, but parents can begin to guide healthier online usage from a young age. This is especially true during supervised screen time with young children, when it will be possible to highlight the benefits of educational apps, learning sites, and fun educational games online.
This is the best way to enable the benefits of screen time without risking the passive usage linked to sites like YouTube (even the kids’ version) or other social platforms. It’s also a habit that’s liable to lead older children to continually lean into the educational benefits of online usage, rather than reaching for more unhealthy screen time habits like social media.
These potentially educational benefits are tenfold, and could include using sites like YouTube to learn new skills such as playing a musical instrument, rather than simply watching inactive content. Equally, a child who has been guided in this way may be more liable to reach for educationally beneficial online games like mahjong or solitaire, rather than spending their evenings scrolling on a possibly toxic social media feed.
# 4 – Using Screens as a Distraction
Screens can feel like an undeniable benefit for parents who need to complete long to-do lists, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with putting a pre-vetted program on while you cook dinner. But, using screens as a distraction, or as a stand-in whenever you can’t be around, can quickly become a bad habit.
The main problem with this is that it encourages your children to see screens as a companion or distraction whenever there’s no one around to actively play with them. As well as encouraging the harmful passive screen time we’ve already touched on, this can prevent them from ever developing a real sense of independence in their play. As a result, they may be far more likely to reach for screens any time they want entertainment when they’re older.
It’s therefore worth avoiding screen time as a distraction technique as much as possible. Instead, try to get into the habit of setting up an activity, craft, or specific game whenever household chores come knocking. That way, you can save screen time for those moments when you and your child sit down together to enjoy quality screen time with far more purpose behind it.
# 5 – Not Giving Tempting Alternatives
If there’s nothing more fun on offer, your child will inevitably reach for screen time more often. Hence why parents should also do what they can to ensure that there are plenty of offscreen activities children can enjoy getting stuck into.
One option for young kids is, as mentioned, to simply take the time to set up basic activities or crafts for children to enjoy during times when they, or you, would otherwise reach for screens. Make these crafts appealing and exciting, and you should find that your children don’t even notice screens have gone temporarily missing. Equally, offering fun alternatives like playing outside, attending after-school clubs and classes, or even completing dedicated tasks like cooking, can serve as a tempting screen time alternative, even for older children.
The main benefit of these options is that you needn’t beg your child to put screens to bed. They’ll be more than willing to set aside that tablet, television, or whatever else in place of that far more fun activity.
Screen time isn’t all bad, but these mistakes almost always will be. Cut them out to ensure healthy screen time usage at last.
