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Passing on what you’ve learned to kids or grandkids—or even a younger coworker—should feel rewarding, right? Sometimes, though, it gets a little weird. You want to share something important, but you don’t want to sound like you’re giving a lecture or making them roll their eyes and wish they were somewhere else. We’ve all been there, and truthfully, nobody wants to come off as condescending, especially when all you really want is to help.
Start with Curiosity, Not a Monologue
The best conversations happen when you start by listening. Before you offer advice, just ask questions. If your granddaughter wants career advice or your neighbor’s teen is struggling in school, ask what they’ve tried so far. What’s working? What’s frustrating? You set the tone by really hearing their point of view, and honestly, sometimes you discover you don’t have the whole story anyway.
AARP has some great tips on intergenerational communication—try their advice about active listening and being emotionally present, even when the conversation feels tricky.
Be Honest About Your Own Mistakes
A little humility goes a long way. Instead of just offering “the answer,” tell a story about a time you messed up or struggled with the same thing. If you’re sharing job tips, talk about that interview you bombed. If you’re giving relationship advice, don’t sugarcoat the stuff you learned the hard way. Younger folks appreciate hearing you’ve made your fair share of mistakes—it feels real, and makes the advice easier to swallow.
Sprinkle in Some Laughter (and Admit When You’re Out of Touch)
Times change fast. If you’re living in an assisted living community, there’s a good chance your grandkids have a phone glued to their hands and get half their news from TikTok. Instead of acting baffled or dismissive, ask them to show you their favorite app or meme. You might joke about still missing your old flip phone, but you’ll signal that you’re curious—not judgmental.
Psychology Today recommends a sense of humor and self-awareness as keys for bridging the generation gap. They have a handy piece on what actually gets people to listen (big surprise: laughing together helps).
Offer, Don’t Insist
Phrase advice as something to consider, not a must-do. “One thing that helped me…” or “Have you ever thought about…?” opens the door without shoving anyone through it. And if they don’t take your suggestion, try not to take it personally. The point is to be a gentle guide, not the judge and jury.
Keep It Short, Sweet, and Relevant
Nobody likes a 30-minute tale when they just wanted a quick tip. Share what matters, then pause. Let the conversation breathe; let them come back with questions. Sometimes, your most valuable wisdom comes out in the back-and-forth, not just in your prepared stories or lessons.
At the end of the day, all anyone really wants is to feel heard and respected—no matter their age. Sharing your wisdom is less about “teaching a lesson” and more about being there, swapping stories, and watching each other grow. That’s how the best wisdom sticks around for good.
