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Seniors and their families know the importance of assisted living facilities. However, seniors may feel they don’t need this type of assistance. They may be comfortable living on their own. Their family may not feel the same way, which can quickly become an issue. What is the best way to discuss assisted living with an elderly parent?
Families must understand that seniors’ resistance to relocating is extreme. Often, seniors need clarification about what life would be like in an assisted living community. They also don’t want to leave the memories behind to get assisted living accommodations. When families know how to approach this topic respectfully, seniors are more inclined to seriously consider it without fighting their loved ones.
Open the Conversation
A family must not expect to sit down with elderly parents and have them agree to move to assisted living during the first conversation. Time will be needed for the seniors to become comfortable with the idea. One way a family can open the conversation is to think about how they felt during their last move. It was a stressful time, but benefits came with making the transition. Family members must focus on these benefits when discussing the topic with their loved ones.
Remain Respectful
Seniors have lived entire lives. They have probably worked, raised families, and encountered numerous challenges. Each decision they made changed their lives for better or worse. Families must remember that seniors still have the right to make the wrong decision. They wish to remain independent, and the family should respect this. Multiple conversations about the topic can help seniors understand why a move to assisted living is best for them. They need to know the benefits of doing so. Forcing them to make this transition when they do not want to will harm the family relationship and possibly their mental and physical health.
Honesty and Transparency
Family should not go behind their loved ones’ backs and arrange for assisted living. All discussions must be honest and transparent, or relationships may be destroyed. Seniors often get upset when their families approach this topic, but they will come around with time. Sneaking around and making arrangements without consulting them will have them digging in their heels and refusing to make the move. No parent wants to feel like they are being treated as a child. The parent-child dynamic remains regardless of the age of each party.
Visit Communities
One way to encourage seniors to make this transition is to allow them to visit several assisted living communities. If friends or family live in a community, that is an excellent place to start. They can see how this friend or family member thrives in their new accommodations. If the senior does not know anyone living in an assisted living community, the family can schedule a visit to several in the area. When the seniors find one that interests them, ask about a short-term stay. Many communities allow guests to stay up to 12 weeks to learn more about the community, its amenities, and its culture. This visit may convince the seniors that they want to make the transition and will enjoy their new home.
What Not to Do
Family members should not tell seniors what they must do. Seniors are adults and should be treated as such at all times. Threatening them will not get them to agree to make this move; it will only inflict emotional pain on the senior. In addition, families should not give seniors ultimatums. They want choices, just as every person does. If seniors don’t agree to make this transition, family members should not abandon them. Doing so won’t benefit the relationship in any way.
Discussing a move to assisted living will involve multiple conversations. Some conversations might be contentious, but everybody needs to continue moving forward. When family members treat seniors with respect and compassion, they are more likely to understand that assisted living is best for their needs and make the transition willingly.
